kristin has been a bad kristin
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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