well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
