i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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