I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
