Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
