Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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