Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Are we still banned from the library?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
