Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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