Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
