Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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