I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
