I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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