After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
