She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
