i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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