We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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