Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
