Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
