look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
