I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
