I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
