Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
