The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Randomize
