I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
