so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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