i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
