Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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