she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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