This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
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we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
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Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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