I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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