do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
