no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
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