Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
