11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
