did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
