I hate your face
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
