You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
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your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
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While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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