he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
