i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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