I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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