she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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