Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize