we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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