Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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