when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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