About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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