Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
