Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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