you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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