Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize