The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm going to jail i love you
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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