dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
