I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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