All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
