last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You made out with two different species that night
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
