i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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