it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
