Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
