I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
