If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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