What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
