I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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